back to school

SEEK
So, close supporters and confidantes agree with one voice-- Go back to school and complete a degree that relates to your dream. How do I do that ?

CLARITY
Lean on Him.

SEEK
How ?

CLARITY
Work hard & save money. Apply for scholarships and a work permit. If the money is there, and the the student / work Visa materializes, GO !

SEEK
But what about the discipline I think I lack to go the full distance ?

CLARITY
Let's review. Have you ever quit a coaching assignment ? No. Was it always easy to complete a season ? No. But you didn't quit ? Right. How about starting that youth soccer league. When the going got difficult, did you quit that ? No. Would you do it again ? In a heartbeat. What does your current computer wallpaper at the office say ? "At every opportunity All I wanted was to play soccer~ Paul Scholes" EXACTLY. Every dream-come-true is 10% nightmare 90% bliss. But you never seem to mind the nightmare quite as much as when you're doing something else.

Rely on God to nurture the discipline in you. How ? Read your bible & pray everyday. Want it. Rely on the Holy Spirit when the thirst isn't there. STEAL moments away from the stranglehold of hecticness. Carve out a minute for Christ. Study the spiritual disciplines you discovered earlier this year. Make THAT your goal for the next 8 months. When that time is up you'll have greater insight, discipline, and peace.

Amen.

Purpose and Identity

Last October God said to me,"Why do you insist on being a tea kettle ? You are already a very fine tea cup." What does that mean ?

The image God gave is simple: A tea kettle has a capacity to serve (pour out) several portions of hot water. A tea cup serves just one... at a time. A tea kettle attracts attention to itself when it's doing its job. The kettle whistles to announce that the water is boiling. A tea cup serves quietly... patiently keeping its portion ready for the drinker to help themself. It's a beautiful, peaceful image.

I AM a teacher and coach. [identity]. God's purpose for my life right now is to focus on one-on-one teaching. [purpose]. It took some time to rest in the peacefulness of that Truth for me... that purpose intended for me. Why ? I struggled with coveting attention. I wanted to influence more than one person at a time. The crazy part is that I DO influence more than one person... just not simultaneously.

Once I embraced my teacup calling I realized that I'm well-suited to be a DiscipleMaker. It is a ministry at my church where mature believers come alongside new believers or newly rededicated christians to help them walk through the basics of the christian faith.

Seeing this purpose for my life has made it a bit difficult to reconcile other dreams God has given me. But He is faithful in providing what I need, when I need it-- including knowledge. I rest in knowing that the Holy Spirit isn't asleep on the job.

response from the heart

Last week I wrote about a breathrough with a a brave friend. I revealed the post to her soon after. She replied almost immediately. Today she gave me permission to share her written response in my blog. I'm not putting this here to boast. It's here as a testament to the possibilities of open, honest communication between two spirits.

Hewo,
I was crying like a little baby reading what you wrote, man! That's not fair! But I relate to the core. I have felt just the way you have and it's a blessing for me that you "received" me. You know? And I must reiterate: I'm learning how to express what I'm going through without trying to blame or accuse. I don't want you to feel that way, because it wouldn't be productive and you wouldn't (in turn) be very willing to tell ME when I'M doing something that's hurtful to myself or others. I guess I'm welcoming you into my life - finally. Now I feel safe, 'cause you've taken me to your heart, listened to me, and responded with love. For that I love you. And I thank you a thousand times over!!

Peace back atcha' babe, me

~a Brave Friend

Make a BEE line !

After applying for a national-scope sports administrator job in April / May 2005, I was solidly struck with clarity that I should pursue a career in sport administration. Happily, there exists a vast range of jobs that fulfill that call. Great !

Where to begin ? A Bachelor of Sport Mgmt would be the ideal credentials to have. But I haven't enjoyed education, for the sheer sake of learning, since HOMEWORK began... grade 4-ish. Socially, school is a wonderful place. But I'm not forking out $90,000 over the next 3 years so I can hang out. So my mind turned to earning credentials through coaching, certification, and working with amateur sport organizations. Great !

But as I volunteer coach for community recreation leagues I still have to eat and pay my bills so let's work. Until I secure some credentials, I feel relegated / doomed to jobs that don't relate to the sports administration dream. The trick is overcoming the fear of applying for jobs I feel unqualified for in the meantime. Here's what I've learned lately.

TRUST CHRIST to gift you with the necessary tools and resources for the next task... and then dip your toe in the water!

TRUST GOD to honor and bless all your measely efforts aimed towards your task.

BE AWARE that the lessons and transformations that lurk just beneath the surface of a juicy project that us productivity-oriented folk are drawn to sinking our teeth into are what's most important about us to GOD.

peace.

A call to WRITE!

I've always felt EVERYBODY should keep a journal and publish it as a novel before they die... because everybody has a crazy Aunt and a funny story. Nobody's life is boring. If you don't write for yourself, do it for your children. Write for your siblings. Write so that your friends can read about your stories and how they played a role... and learn. Publish your stories so that you can share what existence has meant to you, with others. Don't do it to make the New York Times bestsellers List. Do it for love. Can you hear me ?

If you're like me, a personal journal in its raw unedited form could be dangerous, painful material for others to read. But with the help of a professional editor, I will publish a compilation of my journals as a novel before I take my final rest. And if I don't, I'll leave it for someone to do. Ok Sonshine ? I'm 1110% sure that the published story of 'normal' peoples' lives would win Nobel Laureate Prizes. Reality is stranger than Fiction.

I started this blog because my life is so full of lessons and beautiful people. I want to share MY stories. MY Life. But this Life passes in a blur sometimes. I don't live to blog. I live and then I blog. So this post is simply a reminder to self of things that have surfaced in the last month or so. I beat writer's block by sifting through my journal, my postings in discussion forums, my idea files, my favorite sites, and emails.

Favorite New Tunes
Meaningful Friendships
Receiving God's message thru people
Motives and Intentions of the heart
Boat of Contentment
My Passions
Make a BEE Line
Recognize the Dark Side of the Moon

analog audio

It's the holiday season of the year most people long for. Many places you go have Christmas songs playing. That always reminds me of the music my parents played while I was growing up... Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Johnny Mathis and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir belting out carols and hymns. It's all good. But what goes hand-in-hand with that is the crisp memory of the ALBUMS. The feel of vinyl records, old record jackets handled with care, and the sound of imperfections warming every nook & cranny of the recording. That stroll down memory lane brought me to learn a bit about modern hi fidelity analog instruments. Here are my favorite sites:

VPI Industries
Music Hall Audio
JA Michell
Wilson Benesch
Grado Labs
Sennheiser
Sony

Enjoy !

I'm proud of you.

How many times have you said that to a friend or loved one ? What kinds of things are you proud of them for ? I snapped at a friend during a short phonecall today. I responded abruptly and harshly to a simple question. That hurt her feelings. Later in the day, she told me that I hurt her feelings. I was astounded. How could she be hurt over such a small thing ? To make matters much worse, I let out a chuckle of bewilderment. Umm I'm sure you can imagine how little appreciation she had for that. Thankfully, she shared her feelings about my chuckle too.

I wondered aloud how someone could be so intimidated by me. She did a beautiful job of explaining, quite concisely, exactly how my behaviour is initimidating. "Some people will respond one way. Others will respond another way. But 90% of the world would characterize these behavioural habits as 'intimidating'. "(paraphrase) Duly noted. What followed next was sheer bliss for me.

We sat down and each shared our thoughts and feelings on the matter. My friend had the courage to say to me,"Your chuckle was condescending. That hurt too. I need you to be gentle with me all the time." Who has the guts to be that clear & direct about NEEDING GENTLENESS ? Folks, that was a rare moment for me. My friend stepping up to the plate. Normally she would find a way to avoid the fact that she was hurt. Today she tried a different way of responding to me based in realizing that she doesn't have to cower in fear of me thinking less of her if she admits her feelings. I see that as a brave, noble, lovely, excellent and praiseworthy approach to take. I'm proud of her for standing firm. I think she hit a homerun. THAT inspires me !

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

The fact that she had to stand up to me is another sad story best left for a different post.

Cleanup Crew

The part I hate most about moving into a new residence is the final cleanout of the old residence, required to get a damage deposit back. I know you can pay a crew to do the major scrubbing and spit shining, but I never have. Nope I've done it all myself. Instead I've stayed up long hours to get it done by deadlines that could've been met easily had I not left things until the last minute.

Have you ever asked a friend to help you clean up your mess ? Doesn't it feel awkward ?

Have you ever had anyone OFFER to help you clean up your filth ? If yes, did you wonder "Why? Why would you spend time helping me tackle grime & soot ?" I've offered. And the puzzled look and inevitable question followed. My answer is always simple."Because you look like you could use a hand. I've got two hands and I'd like to help." Most people don't refuse the assistance.

My room is often messy. I never have food in my bedroom. But clothes that I've worn end up in heaps. Books I'm reading litter the floor. Receipts pile up on the dresser. I usually get around to tidying it every three weeks or so. Usually I keep it quite tidy for a week. Gradually the mess accumulates again, to the point where I can't stand the clutter anymore and I clean it up. That's the monthly cycle of the cleanliness of my room.

How about life ? My life gets messy too. How do you clean that up ? Is it reasonable to ask someone to help you clean up your life ? Only when we're talking about an addiction, right ? Not the small stuff, right ? Everyone can take care of the small stuff on their own, right ? Nobody needs help with that. Right ? Not always. But it's not always evident where someone's life needs help, right ? How hard do people look for ways to serve someone else? It's none of my business ! Let them ask ! s i g h.

stay tuned. up next: accountability partnerships- the three-legged journey.