I'm proud of you.

How many times have you said that to a friend or loved one ? What kinds of things are you proud of them for ? I snapped at a friend during a short phonecall today. I responded abruptly and harshly to a simple question. That hurt her feelings. Later in the day, she told me that I hurt her feelings. I was astounded. How could she be hurt over such a small thing ? To make matters much worse, I let out a chuckle of bewilderment. Umm I'm sure you can imagine how little appreciation she had for that. Thankfully, she shared her feelings about my chuckle too.

I wondered aloud how someone could be so intimidated by me. She did a beautiful job of explaining, quite concisely, exactly how my behaviour is initimidating. "Some people will respond one way. Others will respond another way. But 90% of the world would characterize these behavioural habits as 'intimidating'. "(paraphrase) Duly noted. What followed next was sheer bliss for me.

We sat down and each shared our thoughts and feelings on the matter. My friend had the courage to say to me,"Your chuckle was condescending. That hurt too. I need you to be gentle with me all the time." Who has the guts to be that clear & direct about NEEDING GENTLENESS ? Folks, that was a rare moment for me. My friend stepping up to the plate. Normally she would find a way to avoid the fact that she was hurt. Today she tried a different way of responding to me based in realizing that she doesn't have to cower in fear of me thinking less of her if she admits her feelings. I see that as a brave, noble, lovely, excellent and praiseworthy approach to take. I'm proud of her for standing firm. I think she hit a homerun. THAT inspires me !

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

The fact that she had to stand up to me is another sad story best left for a different post.