Passion directed

Falling in love has shown me just how much time & energy I can put into something. It is a visceral reminder of the lengths I go to when passion is in play. I’ve done it many times before. Getting up for varsity team practices before (high) school. 30-40 hour sleepless stretches of work spent labouring over design studio projects during architecture studies. Waking up at an “ungodly” hour to watch a World Cup Soccer match live in a distant time zone… repeatedly over a 40-day period. Passion pushes me.

But when I look at how much I can do for my own self-interest, I realize how much more I can do towards my relationship with Christ the King. I love my father, Derek G. I maintain regular contact with him, sometimes several phone calls a week. I pray for him. I encourage him. I talk about him CONSTANTLY. I praise him to others. I am real with him. Am I less so with my Heavenly Father? It’s hard to gauge but I fear the answer is (at times) ‘yes’.

Is it ok with God if my attentiveness to Him cycles through sine waves of activity? I’m going to guess that He’s more merciful and understanding about it than I can imagine. But I anxiously gather myself to face Him adroitly and renew commitment to pursue Him passionately. I ask Him to light a fire in me to seek His will and live out His plans for my life… ‘cause that’s the only way it’s gonna get done in any semblance of excellence. I’m glad He’s doing the work in & through me. I’m glad I can rely on His love to draw me to Him. I’m glad I have the Holy Spirit to sharpen & renew my mind—a constant companion.