Given away too soon?

Why is it bad to give your heart to someone in a short period of time? How soon is too soon? My search for the answer began with the question, “What is the cost?”

Distraction from the life plans and projects already in the works-- that is the principle cost to my life. I’m not good at focusing. I’m not good at channeling and harness my energy. I can focus. But it requires a lot of prayer and commitment. Otherwise I just do whatever.

Distraction points to the real crime— idolatry. “Giving my heart away” is tantamount to idolatry because, essentially, all else is swept off the table and I focus hard core on one person, out of passion. One way of keeping God first in my life is by tending to the plans & projects I think He’s leading me to & through. Maintaining those commitments is an integral part of maintaining contact & communication with the Holy Spirit. Abandoning them = neglecting God = put Him on a lower rung. Once God is #2 in my thoughts, calendar & wallet, I’ve entered the world of idolatry. Ummm not good.

How soon is too soon? The answer is different for everyone. I am supernaturally inclined to open my heart to a connection with a person very quickly. I’m supernaturally inclined to deepen a connection within days. I say “supernaturally” because I’ve been that way since the womb. I believe God designed me that way. But to be open to marrying someone after only 3 weeks, without even meeting in person, is like moving a the speed of sound… even for me. In fact I’d say it’s Mach 3 for me. But at least I’m measuring it against my own experience and capacity, and not someone else’s.

What is the remedy for Mach 3 speed? Refocus time and energy on the priorities God has made clear to you about life & relationship with Him.

• Complete tasks and keep planned commitments.
• Be in the Word and attend church regularly.
• Continue studying facets of righteous living.

On the other hand, feelings can’t be manufactured. They are what they are. A mind & mouth may want to respond in a certain way before a heart is ready. But there’s no denying the unrest & unease of a rushed heart. So let the heart lead. If there’s no major action decision to be made, let the heart lead the mind. Don’t speak about emotions that aren’t yet solidified in the heart. When peace and comfort resides in the heart, speak freely of affection. Until then, restrain the mind & mouth.