I miss you

Depending on a person’s insecurities, personality and interpersonal dynamics that come into play with others, there is often a preference between compliments received. For example, I’m very secure in my level of intelligence / wisdom. I’m less secure about my outward appearance / looks. So I feel more blessed to hear “You’re beautiful.” than “You’re smart.”

Similarly, as someone who pursues relationships with people I want to be close to, I am more touched by hearing “I miss you.” than “I love you.” I am quite confident that I am loved by others but never certain that I am missed. This may always be true for me because I’m a pursuer. I’m always the one who calls, who emails, who invites, who drops by to visit. Why? I really don’t have anything better to do than deepen relationships with people I am drawn to… at work, on my sports teams, at church, friends scattered around the world. For me, life isn’t about stuff. It’s about relationships. And because I am intense, passion for community translates into being a pursuer.

Amidst the flurry of my reaching out and thus people’s diminished need for (and glaring paucity of) reciprocation, I am not conscious of anyone missing me. “I miss you” is always news to me. So I am always deeply touched to hear that loved ones miss me, or think of me. It brings tears to my eyes. It takes my breath away. It’s like 100 warm hugs. It is a balm for my soul… to know that I am missed.

lunch with La Directrice

Ok so I have to admit that I was wrong. After having lunch with the director of the play I'm in, I've changed my opinion about announced attachment of Christian institutions presenting the play. Without the church & christian college pooling their resources to present this piece to the public, in a non-ecclesiatical setting, it may never hit the streets of Calgary. There's no good reason to CONCEAL a mission / ministry. I can't count how many people I've told that I'm in the play who've congratulated me and said they will come see it... mostly fellow athletes. How exciting is that?! Uh VERY ! If they do see the play perhaps it'll create a bigger opening for them to ask me something about my faith. Or perhaps they'll call me on my poor behaviour. Either way, attaching the names of the church & college will open doors. I'm sure of it... and grateful for that.

natural intervals

Passion (pāsh'ən)

• any powerful or compelling emotion
• strong desire

• a strong or extravagant enthusiasm
• an outburst of strong emotion
• intense, driving, or overpowering feeling or emotion

Intense (ĭn-těns')

• susceptible to strong emotion; an intense person
• existing or occurring in a high or extreme degree

Intensity (ĭn-těn'sĭ-tē)

• exceptionally great concentration
• chromatic purity: freedom from dilution with white and hence vivid in hue

Does anyone actually expect an intense person to become less so over the years? By what miracle might that happen? Why would God reverse Himself in ordaining such a trait? Is there anything about passion or intensity that does not seem extreme? How then do we not brace ourselves for such vigor… if we know it’s coming? Nature demonstrates cycles. Nothing in nature is absolutely constant. Even in “death” of organic things a degradation / decomposition occurs that gives life to other organic forms. Almost nothing in nature is perfectly constant. Surely passion and intensity must be interrupted / sprinkled with rest, tranquility, and calm… by God’s design.

Rest (rěst)

• interval of inactivity, repose, solitude, or tranquility
• mental or spiritual calm
• a place that provides shelter
• a supporting device
• repose of sleep
• the refreshing quiet
• to relieve weariness
• to direct (as the eyes): to rest one's eyes on someone.
• to dwell; linger

How are these intervals designed to run their course in the human spirit? What flows through and should be concentrated on during rest? What must be restrained in passion?

Hebrews 12:1-2

…let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us… Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

1 Corinthians 9:24-26

Run in such a way as to get the prize… I do not run like a man running aimlessly… so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Happy Birthday Scott !

Happy New Year! (2007)

It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

convicted

I feel convicted by the Holy Spirit concerning my acts of kindness and Christmas attitude through this verse. The meditation continues...

Matthew 6:1-4
1 "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.